Hurt: A Song Fic
by kaleidescopexeyes
Summary: Remus is hurting. Sirius eases the pain. Just a nice little piece of angsty, slashy, SBRL goodness. My first piece posted here, please R&R!


Very angsty, possibly a little bit cheesy, I wrote it a long time ago in about 20 minutes, hope you enjoy! Reviews would be appreciated!

Note: This is** SLASH.** Male and male. Don't like it? Don't read it. Also, **I DO NOT OWN EITHER OF THESE CHARACTERS, OR THIS SONG!** They are owned, respectively, by JK Rowling and Nine Inch Nails/Johnny Cash.

**HURT: A One-Shot Song Fic**

**I hurt myself today  
To see if I still feel  
I focus on the pain  
the only thing that's real  
The needle tears a hole  
the old familiar sting  
try to kill it all away  
but I remember everything**

Remus couldn't remember the first time he did it, or why. As he dragged the bent paper clip down the inside of his arm, he felt that warmth, that lovely scarlet rush of pain escape him. He was accustomed to pain; it visited him every full moon. _There's one convenient thing about being a lycanthrope_, Remus thought. _It's a foolproof excuse for the scars_.

**  
What have I become?  
My sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
goes away in the end  
You could have it all  
My empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**

He let his eyelids flutter closed while the warmth flooded through his body. What HAD caused it to come to this? He was a Prefect, at the top of his class, with three of the greatest friends a boy could ask for. He wasn't too bad-looking, though Remus did not consider himself a girl magnet. And he had always had a stash of Honeyduke's chocolate to sate his appetite.

It was love. Love so consuming and passionate it drove him absolutely insane. Coincidentally, the person whom Remus was so secretly enamored with, also drove him insane on a regular basis.

A one Sirius Black.

The blood was beginning to coagulate. Remus washed his arm quickly, lest anyone have burst into the bathroom at that moment (_God forbid._) His long, white fingers traced the scars around the fresh wound. Graceful, pale lines covered his arms, like an icy, macabre rosebush. Carefully he opened the door and crept through the dormitory room so as not to wake any of his sleeping roommates. He knew sleep would not come to him, and opted to steal away downstairs to the Common Room.

The shadows cast from the dying flames in the fireplace danced on the walls. Remus made his way over to his favorite chair and curled up. Emotions pounded inside his head, begging to escape. _I wish I were able to love him. But this beastly thing inside of me...I can't. I'd never. Not like I'd have much of a chance anyways. Sirius isn't gay...oh, bollocks. I'm a lycanthrope, AND homosexual. Fan-bloody-tastic. _"Why me?" he finally sighed.

"Oh, the inevitable, inescapable, cliché," replied a voice from somewhere in the dark. Remus bolted out of the chair, and then recognized the voice. "Sirius?"

"Indeed, mate," the handsome boy drawled as he stepped into the dim firelight. "You look a bit peaky, are you alright?"

"I'm fine."

"Liar." Sirius flashed his trademark mischevious smirk. Remus could not help but notice those dazzingly white teeth, and the blue-gray eyes that gleamed with life, and the raven hair that fell elegantly and unintentionally across his eyes. He was beautiful.

"...Remus?"

He snapped out of his reverie. "I'm fine. Really." He smiled weakly in an attempt to give his statement some conviction.

"I've known you for what, seven years now? I can tell when you're lying. Merlin knows I've seen you do it enough to save Prongsy and I from the wrath of McGonagall."

"It's nothing!"

"Bollocks."

"You wouldn't understand, Sirius."

**I wear this crown of thorns**

**upon my liar's chair  
Full of broken thoughts  
I cannot repair  
Beneath the stains of time  
the feelings disappear  
You are someone else  
I am still right here**

"Try me." Sirius plopped down on the couch and merrily pat the seat next to him. Remus rolled his eyes and slumped down next to him.

"Alright, I confess. I am completely and madly in love with someone who has no idea, and would never feel the same anyways. You, Sirius Black, cannot possibly relate to this, therefore there is no sense to be explaining this to you, and now I am going back to bed." He started to get up when Sirius grabbed him by the wrist and yanked him back down.

"Oh no you don't, Re—wait, what is THIS?"

**What have I become?  
my sweetest friend  
Everyone I know  
goes away in the end  
You could have it all  
my empire of dirt  
I will let you down  
I will make you hurt**

Remus tried in vain to snatch his arm away, but Sirius was stronger and quicker, and roughly pulled back his shirt sleeve to reveal the fresh red gash.

"Holy shit, Remus, what did you do?"

"It's nothing!"

"You call THAT nothing?" Sirius stood up to meet Remus (though he stood a good three inches taller), his stormy eyes boring into the other boy's amber ones.

"I don't want to talk about it!" Remus snarled back, feeling the wolf's aggression rising inside of him.

"You have to! For yourself, and for me! I want to help you!"

"You can't help me, you're the bloody problem!" He was sorry he let that last bit slip out.

Sirius gawked at him. "What the hell are you talking about?"

"I don't know why I feel like this," gasped Remus, now on the verge of tears. "It's so wrong, it's so pointless! You would hate me, anyways! Everyone would!"

"Rem, you're rambling, get a grip on yourself!"

"I shouldn't love you, I can't love you, I won't love you!" he gruffly replied, stumbling backwards into the wall, his face hidden by his hands. As the impact of what he just revealed to Sirius hit him, he slowly sunk down the wall, praying that the floor would open and swallow him right there, ending his misery.

Suddenly, Remus felt a pair of strong hands grip him by the shoulders and lift him to his feet. His eyes had barely opened when Sirius pressed his lips firmly to his own. His musky aroma enveloped Remus as they both deepened the kiss. The two parted for a moment, Remus staring up at Sirius in complete disbelief. "Padfoot, please don't do that to me, don't play games, I know you don't--"

"There you go again, assuming you know everything. I am very glad to point out that, for once, you are definitely and decidedly wrong." He grinned devilishly.

"How can you feel that way? Especially about someone as broken, and most definitely MALE, as me?"

"Because I can." Sirius embraced the werewolf tightly and kissed him with more passion and need than he had kissed anyone else before. "I will not hurt you. I promise."

**  
If I could start again  
a million miles away  
I would keep myself  
I would find a way...**


End file.
